I was able to go to church Sunday for the first time in 27 weeks!
It was such a rush of emotions! The minute I went through the doors I was fighting back tears. I was almost in disbelief ... it felt like such a huge milestone! It seemed like such an unreachable goal. With the help of my family though I made it.
It was so good yet so awkward at the same time (I am sure my lime green wheelchair didn't help .. ha ha). It was so good to be back at church with my family. To hear the hymns, the speakers, to feel the spirit, and to see everyone who has been supporting us since we moved in with my parents. It was awkward because inside I just feel so different now. Everyone was incredibly supportive and gave me hugs, pats on the shoulder, kind words, and I could see in their faces they were truly happy to see me there. Inside I felt so good and like a freak all at the same time. Now I know that no one thinks I am a freak by any means, but it's hard to keep your self image realistic.
We only stayed for sacrament meeting because by the end of that hour I was wiped! I realized how week my lung capacity is. Between singing and chatting with everyone, I kept getting dizzy and light headed. Even though I have made huge strides in my breathing .. there is still so much more to go. It's the simplest things that seem to keep coming back to haunt me.
Overall it was such a good day. It took a three hour nap that afternoon to recover ... but we did it!
3 comments:
That is awesome! I'm so glad that you got to go to sacrament meeting. Once again you've reminded me of the things I take for granted. You're definitely making baby steps, Steph. We know all about baby steps right now, because Tayah is just starting to walk...sometimes there are little setbacks and bumps and bruises along the way, but baby steps also lead to bigger steps and eventually running! You are doing great! Hang in there!
Oh Steph, how awesome! Glad you are make great strides with your recovery.
I know exactly what you mean about feeling so good, but also feeling like a freak. I still feel like that sometimes. It's a difficult feeling to get over. But yay for you getting to church. It really does do wonders for a person's spirit, even if all you can do is sacrament meeting.
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