Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Rehab 101

I discovered today while chatting with the other patients that their many similarities between rehab and prison.

This does not in any way imply that I do not want to be here, or do I not appreciate what I'm going to be able to learn while I'm here, more just funny quirks comparing the two.

1.  We all plot during meals about how we can escape.

Today we decided that we would create a distraction so that one of the other ladies could make a run for it. Since we outnumbered the help, we decided that if we split up and each went in different directions she could make it to the elevators.  Of course, she would have to ditch her wristband which is like a tracking device.

2.  After meals we all are escorted back to our room.

After we have meals, one of the CNA's pushes us back to our rooms where we wait until the next person comes to get us. If you head for the door, you are immediately intercepted by someone.

3.  Typically, the most exciting part of the day is
when we get to work out.

Therapy sessions are the only time besides meal time that we are able to get out of our room.  It's all about getting stronger, and trying to impress the person next to you with your abilities.

4. There are gangs.

We each sit at our designated tables and rarely converse with the other tables. while here it is more split up by men and women.

5. Meals can be very questionable.

While not all meals have been bad since I got here, I won't lie, I wish there was a hamburger man like on the movie ' The Longest Yard'.  There are days, I would drop a pretty penny for a hamburger pulled out of the old man's pants.

6. Our primary conversation, is when we get released.

One lady is released tomorrow and you could see the envious looks on everyone's faces. Another lady got her release date today, and with good behavior, will be going home next Friday.


Kyle and Tiffany said...

It sounds like you've obviously made some friends that you can laugh and joke with. :) I hope your rehab experience goes well, and that you end up being one of those people that makes great progress and gets a release date soon. We love you, Steph!

Joel & Alli said...

haha this is awesome, i got a good laugh :) Im sure with your determination you'll do amazing! we love you! :)